So somehow, I fell into a relationship.Which has been a hell of a lot better than falling into a drink. When my sponsor recommended that I refrain from dating during my first year of sobriety, I laughed and told her that it had been a couple of years since I’d even entertained the notion of getting some, much less actually appreciating someone as a partner.
I met him during the AA haunted house that we put together a few weeks back. We started going out one-on-one shortly after. He’s pretty damn super, guys.
I haven’t fallen for someone in YEARS, but I feel myself caring for him more and more everyday. It helps that he is also in recovery, because we are both predisposed to the idea of talking about meaningful things until we’re blue in the face. Our conversations are frank and honest, he is inspiringly direct. Still, going gah-gah for someone signifies a fair amount of chaos for me.
I’m aware that in many ways, I have zero control. That’s one of the main points of AA, after all. I feel great, really happy, and pretty much scared shitless all the time, but the happy part is worth it. My life today is mind-blowingly different than it was a few months ago. I hate how cheesy that sounds, like a false promise, but seriously, this bitch is getting shit done and going places. I still have consequences down the line that worry me (i.e. work release, probation, etc.) but the program and especially the people in it have helped me develop sufficient armor to face and take responsibility for these parts of my life.
Still working a good program, still staying hopeful and willing, and, most importantly, still sober.
Hang in there,
4+ months sober