-I have a job (2 jobs!) that I enjoy and do well.
-I have positive interactions with my coworkers, meaningful interactions even.
-I move about my day with patience (most of the time), focusing on each task rather than focusing on how I’m going to overcome my withdrawal before lunchtime.
-I wake up on time, often with a headache, but I know that’s because I didn’t drink enough water before bed, rather than getting into all sorts of trouble while drunk the night before.
-I am still broke, but I don’t feel guilty about it because I’m spending my money on the life I’m trying to live rather than my suicide.
-My car is about to break down, but I know that I’ll be okay.
-I’m about to move and I know that I’ll be okay.
– I am aware of what I’ve survived so far in sobriety, and while I’m still working on grace, I faced challenges with far more faith and strength than I would’ve drunk.
-I still have a sense of humor.
-I get to be a part of my friends’ lives. I get to make them laugh and visa versa, hold their babies, go on adventures, and lend support rather than inspiring worry and heartbreak.
-I get to be an example and resource for my younger siblings. I get to stick around for them.
-My health is improving, my energy, my ambition.
-Intimacy is a whole different experience. Whereas before sex meant a blurred line between consent and assault, I feel an ownership and connection to my body and sexuality–both alone and with a partner. I am starting to work on healing past trauma related to my body and sex.
-I have been given friends who are getting to know me from my most rotten core and they love me truly, because we keep each other sober and help each other see the light in ourselves.
-I get to be a living amends. Everyday that I stay sober and strive to grow in sobriety and in life, the healthier my relationships get to be. It helps me cope with my past and connect to my grief in a healing way.
-I paint and write and read and sing.
-On days like this, I feel the desire to go run around and play in the sun, instead of hiding from it with a bottle.
-My life is full, big, wide open, and busy–overwhelmingly so sometimes. But, again, I know I’ll be okay.
-I’m able to treat issues external to my sobriety–including my mental health–in a more productive way.
– I can see both the end of things and beginnings of things–both happy and sad are temporary–that’s how I know I’ll be okay.
-This list could be endless.
over 9 months!